Family Folklore (memoir 3

My family went on a vacation once. It was so long ago the dinosaurs were still around. My two cousins, two brothers, two grandmas, two aunts and I were all headed to Florida. It was so far away, the plane ride lasted for an entire week. when we got there we did hundreds of fun activities, but no one could forget the time we had at the beach house.

In the two-story beach house you can lean over the banister of the upper level and see down to the level below. One of my brothers leaned over the edge with a three four long glob of spit dangling out of his mouth. He had intended on sucking back into his mouth but just as grandma happened to walked past, it dropped straight into her hair. Everyone stood frozen solid, All but grandma who hadn't even noticed the giant loogie on her head. After what seemed like hours, she walked into another room and shut the door behind her. We all breathed in unison because we'd held our breath for all those minutes. We waited and listened and suddenly we heard a scream coming from the other room that was so loud some people back home in Utah heard it! We all ran in to one of the tiny bedrooms and hid in the closet that was so small mice in it felt claustrophobic. When my grandma finally found us we looked up at her and beheld that she was so mad her hair was on fire!

My two brothers were on the lower level and my cousins and I were on the upper level. My brothers each took their sandals off and threw them into the air and my cousins and I would lean over and try to catch them. Just as my brother threw his shoe up to us my eighty-million year old great, great, great, grandma walked underneath and with a loud boom, the flip-flop hit her right in the head!

You must understand my grandma is a strong democrat and loathes George W. Bush. If he strolled by and she happened to have a gun in her hand, she'd shoot him. He was on the television so she was already in a bad mood. After being hit in the head with a plastic sandal she was angrier than she'd ever been before. She screamed so loud that Utah noticed the strange noise again. One of my brothers flew up a flight of stirs without touching any steps, leaving the other brother downstairs with grandma where he would receive a ten-minute long lecture.